sick leave

things always tend to get worse when you are not there..
i have been away for only two weeks and i came back to work to find everything upside down..
Piles and piles of paper work "that can be easily sorted out, if someone cared to do it" aside from the staff massacre that i still can't figure who started..
eventhough i left in a hurry, i left everything running smoothly.. there was no way what so ever for things to get so bad.. and now, coming from a sick leave.. still dizzy and drowsy i'm expected to fix everything today!!


so.. who wants to be me..

write..

{It is as surprising as the comments people leave here; the few who still visit and expect something or, in a height of desperation, request something. I have thought a million times about why I stopped blogging. Perhaps I got intimidated when I found out so many of the people I see everyday were reading it. And considering how much my writing rubbish deviates from how I behave around others, being read by them can be as embarrassing as khujli on an area I do not want to scratch in public. Don't 'teehee'. I'm just talking about my nose.}
- Its Not Always Pink

{Sometimes i sit and think of what to write about, or how am i going to write it down? Its not as easy as i used to make it seem..well writing for me was a piece of cake when it comes to expressing my emotions, and now as i grow older i feel that those emotions are me, very intimate and private that i dont want to expose its details to the world..i could talk about it sometime but not the whole direct message to be written here or anywhere..}
-Kytheria

it have been so long since i've read somthing that actually made sense to me as this did and as fast as it did..
writing.. so easy, yet so difficult.. the impac it has on others.. the inner self it reflects..
nobody really reads my blog.. i started it just fo the sake of writing.. putting something out there.. it has no followers or usuals.. leave alone requests.. but i do enjoy it myself..
i actually do have one loyal reader, who is enough for me to know is reading..

the other day

the other day.. i was talking to a friend when i said i have that feeling.. that longing to write something.. but i did not know what to write.. this smart friend of mine said.. well.. start with that same line "i feel like writing, but i don't know what to write" and something will eventually come up..
isn't it great to have people around you who know exactly what to say.. what to do.. its so reassuring.. to know that you have a back to fall on to.. to know that someone will catch you.. someone will take your hand and guide you when its too blurry for you to see.. someone who will hold you to the ground when you go out of your mind.. someone who cares when no one else does.. someone who knows what’s wrong with you just by looking at you.. someone who believes in you even when you stop believing in yourself..
sometimes.. when it gets really clear to me how blessed i am for having such a friend.. i start wondering.. what is it that i did to deserve such a bless..
i got alot, but i only gave a li'll..
i fall, when i should've stand tall..
i was only there when needed.. but you always were here..
i know i don't deserve you, but i can't be without you..
God does work in a mysterious way..and for him i can't be thankful enough..thank you GOD
thank you YOU..




* i did write after all..

its rainin' again :)

fog..

yesterday morning i was heading to AD..
it was a cold morning.. just like every other morning..
quiet traffic.. nothing strange..
as we get further on the highway..
suddenly everything turned white..
fog was everywhere around us..
it was so thick we hardly saw the street anymore..
it was like we suddenly entered a cotton candy land..
even the other cars passing by.. we couldn't really see them..
they came out of the blue "or should i say white" and they disappeared in it again..
we drove for about 10 minutes in the fog and then.. the sky was clear again..
its like the fog was a white strip laid over the road..
it was amazing..

updates updates

i was cold to death..

Love the colors

Apples..

and Orangs..

snaks.. stearing our way back home..

some stuff just does not make any sense..

national day continuoes

national day

isn't it fun the way some people express their sense of nationalism :)

a while ago..

imagine walking on a path.. the path is your life.. you try as hard as you can to make the right decisions.. to take the right turns..

you keep on walking .. day by day..

you face some humps and some bumps on the road.. but you get through.. a hand help you every now and then.. you survive.. and you keep walking.. no matter how bad they hurt your legs.. the pain eventually go away and you might even forget it ever was..

but one day.. your foot get stuck between rocks.. in a small muddy hole.. you struggle to get out as you usually do.. but the more you try the more it hurts.. and sunk deeper..

the mud hole turn to quick sand.. and it start to suck you down.. you gasp for air try to calm down to slow the process.. you squeeze your brains out for a solution but you can't find any.. you try to seek help but people pass by you as if you don't really exist.. some of them even step on you as they walk and bush you deeper inside.. you think you are finished.. and the hole start getting in to you.. you feel like a part of its darkness when suddenly a hand grab your hand and start pulling you out..

with the hole sucking you.. and people bushing you.. only that one person try hard to get you out.. and you do get out.. well.. almost.. cuz the minute you get out you fall in again.. and people step on you again.. you feel like you won't get out this time.. you are stuck for good.. that will be your life from now on..

it will not get better.. nothing will ever..