It was like if they were talking about me.. everything they said.. every word.. every sense.. it was all me..
At some stage I knew it was it, But.. I questioned my mind.. my thoughts.. could it really be it.. then I thought, it can't be .. its not it.. But now I know for sure… Its it..

colors..

if i could do what i really want to do, i would've painted my entire room.. the walls.. the sealing.. the doors.. windows.. everything.. i would've painted the entire world.. houses.. streets.. people passing by.. sidewalks.. trees.. kids running around..
for every thought, for every feeling, for every non-sense their would be a color..

my brain is having an overload.. because i think too much.. or i don't think at all.. or i think too much but of stuff not worthy..

Rain..

rainy days..
make some people blue.. pink... homesick..

stuff..

weekends

weekends are supposed to be fun..
staying in bed all day long, doing nothing is NOT fun..
watching stupid old shows on TV is NOT fun..
talking to yourself about yourself is totally Not fun..
am i in a weekend !!

Work :s

I hate meetings... especially the useless endless ones.. where you go out just the way you came in !! the meetings where everybody talks at the same time.. the meetings where nobody talk about the real thing and discuss stupid points in stead.. the meetings where people jump on refreshments like its the last meal they will ever eat.. the meetings where you go there.. set and wait.. while everybody else show up late.. the meetings that you leave with the worst headache you have ever experienced..

Photos..

How many photos are too many photos..!!! can it ever be "too" many..
you just can't help it.. once you start you just can't stop.. taking pictures.. and more pictures.. and some more pictures.. capturing moments of happiness.. laughter.. fun.. and others of beloved ones..and may be some sorrow.. sometimes you take pictures of things that might seem meaningless.. focus on noting.. show nothing.. does not even give you a time line.. but you look at that picture you took..... you stare in it for a while... then you smile..

Commitment

what does that word mean.. "commitment".. what does it really stand for...
does it apply for the actions we take.. the decisions we make... or does it mean standing up for all the duties and obligations that are thrown on us, even if we had no say in them...
how can one be forced to be committed..

why!!

i am sick.. i hate it :(

...

i have a lot to say.. but nothing to write.. what a shame..

sick..

once one member of the family get sick, the whole house get sick.. someone"i'm not gonna point finguers" brought flu into the house, now we can't get it out!!
everubody, and i mean every single person in the hous is sick, except me.. i'm trying so hard not to get it..
i can't get sick, i hate being sick.. i SUCK at being sick..

up their..

god work in mysterious ways..
but we are only humans.. our brains does not grasp everything that happen to us even when we know that it happen for a reason.. we might not know what it is ever, but we know it happens for a reason.. no matter how faithful and believing we are.. at some point we can't help asking our selves WHY!!?? why does that had to happen to me, or why did i have to be in that place.. in that time.. and all the questions that cross your mind at that point..
sometimes the strikes keep coming one after an other non stop to the point that you raise your head up and cry as loud as you can.. isn't that enough!!
sometimes, problems keep coming from all directions.. you try to pull yourself and raise above your disappointments but they just hang on you and hold you back.. they pull you down and push you under.. you think that you lost every hope.. you think your prayers were not heard.. and just when you about to give up.. the answer to your calls come to save you.. and pull you out to the light..
i'm still way under in the dark.. i'm waiting for the hope lights that i still don't think i'll see..

Exhausted..

snapshots.. slapshots.. forward.. backward.. brathless.. tired..

Bad Morning

i got up a little late this morning.. actually i got up much late..
therefore, my mood is cranky and i feel like i don't want to do anything.. at all..
i might as well go back to sleep..

StArBuCkS..

i love chocolate.. and i love all those who serve great chocolate, and chocolate products =)
the best day comes after a morning that you spent sipping hotchocolate with your best friend ;)
the best night start with a great bite of a BIG chocolate coin " i still think it could get bigger, and therefore, better :D "

Finally.. Free..

I'm Finally free :D
i have been asking for a week off since for ever.. i finally got it..

Endlessly

everything is going non stop..
i can write endlessly.. all nonsense.. only i understand.. some of the times ofcourse..
what are words?? does they reflect what you wanna say??
sometimes i think that words are everything.. sometimes they seem helpless.. just like me..
i write.. and i write.. and i write...
i write things i wanna get out of me.. i write things i wanna say, but can't..
i write.. and after a while.. i feel like words are becoming meaningless shapes..empty shapes..
and for a second there.. i think.. why do i even bother.. but i can't help it..
i just go on..writing..endlessly..

Each Single Moment..

I'm starting to notice that I look at my watch too often.. I don't know why..
and each time I look , I don't see what I expect.. time is either moving too fast when I really need it to slow… or its moving too slow when I want it to fly…
Nothing seems to go the way I want it lately.. what can I do!! I look at it.. put a smile on my face.. and walk away.. go on with my half empty life.. and this voice in my head keep saying, sometime it will.. sometime..A hot cocoa helps to..

Break fast

don't you just hate it when you get soooo overwhelmed with work that you don't even get the chance to eat.. not that i eat much :P, but .. I NEED A BREAK!!!
sometimes i'll be setting on my desk finishing "zero-base Budgets" or so.. playing some music that i don't really listen to.. and other colleagues talking endlessly.. i close my eyes for a moment, i try to clear all the noise from my head, and i soooooooooo badly wish that when i open my eyes i'll be somewhere else.. somewhere different.. BUT!! i always open them to find myself in the same place with loads of stuff to finish..

First time blogger

Sleepless nights.. Tired eyes.. and tomorrow is a work day..