updates..

i have been wanting to update for quite sometime now, but i did not have the well to do it..
you may call it lack of inspiration... i just call it laziness..
i'm the most lazy person i ever known.. and i don't think its all bad, but that is to talk about later..

don't you just hate it when in the day.. hour.. moment that you wish.. you hope.. that everything go right, everything just get soooooooo messed up that you feel like you want to die in that single moment and never see the sun shine anymore.. you work for a long time.. very long time.. to perfect this single moment in all the ways you can, yet.. everything seems to get together in the sake of destroying your plans.. everything get messed up.. and even crying does not make you feel better about it..
don't you hate such a day..

ice experience..

once i put my foot on the ice...ummm... its like i enter a different world
its like once i'm there, its only me and my cold breaths..
and the smoke coming from the newly washed ice
i feel lighter..
i feel faster..
as if all the things that bother me and set as a heavy load on me disappear..
its like everything i worry about, does not matter any more.. i slip on the ice so smoothly i feel like i'm flying
when I'm on the ice, its like everything suddenly make much more sense..

even when its not just simply skating.. even when itÂ’s a game.. tough and rough..
when you are up there, and looking at us from you seat .. seeing us all speed and break.. and thinking its too fast for you
to keep track of who is who..
its not that fast down here.. its like everything is going in slow motion.. you stand there in your position keeping an eye on the small black disk.. and in the same time trying to see everything around you in one big image..
you see youropponentt as he slowly pass by you, trying to take a better place.. your place.. your victory.. and your eyes meet.. you don't know what sort of feelings go through you..
for a moment there you both just stare..
and the smoke coming from your heavy breaths.. blind in one white cloud..
you look back at the puck .. and they shot...
the slow motion movie end up here..
and the dance begin..

when i count my blessings, i always count you twice

Love.. unconditional love..

To love is to care.. to give.. to be there.. to feel.. to sacrifice.... to do things with out a moment of thinking or hesitation.. and after you are done.. you think about it and you know for sure that if you went back and had to do it all over again .. you will.. just like the first time..

to love is to feel blessed for having your loved ones in your life ..
to love is to always think of them first..
to love is to give without thinking of anything in return..
to give them your place in a loooooooooong q..
to save them a set in a crowded place..
to give them your last piece of chocolate, even if it was your only..
to put a smile on your face while you listen to them talking and talking and talking for hours non stop.. whining and weeping about stupid stuff..
to love is to appreciate the smallest things..
to love is never to say "I told you so"..
to love is to have someone to tell you, you are pretty in your worst days..
to have someone telling you "everything will be just fine" when you feel like everything is going wrong and pulling you down..
to love is to have someone to look up to..
to love is to have someone that fills the emptiness in your soul..
to love is to have someone that makes you whole..
to love is to have someone that makes you a better version of you..

thank you for being all that and more.. i hope i had been a l'll of that to you..